Me, wondering how smeyer is going to explain why Edward ate Bella’s tear: I bet it’s like the closest he thinks he’ll get to tasting her blood or something.
The year is 2035. We’re all actual adults, some of us with kids called Rosalie and Leah, others no longer writing fics about Bella’s bussy. The world is finally at peace.
Out of nowhere the satanic mormon housewife attacks. She announces that she has rewritten New moon from Jacob’s perspective. “Blood crescent”. We riot.
This happens every ten years till Robert Pattinson finally has enough and fights her in a field of snow. He defeats the evil. 100 or so years pass. A child called 8-e:lay (Pronounced Hayleigh) finds an old file, it’s titled “Sunlight” …the Seth Clearwater story…
